Rules of life don’t let emotion run your life never get too attached
The Happiness of Being 21
when people don’t respond to my text messages in a timely manner i feel less loved. i realize how selfish i am for feeling like this. the more i like a person, the more willing i am to forgive them for their shitty personal tastes. when i complain i feel like a terrible person, but i think if i don’t complain things won’t be done correctly. i wish i could become a better...
Fact: I will never be as talented as I want to be.
“So I’m not really looking for a relationship or anything. I hope that you’re okay with that. I mean, I’m leaving soon and so are you.” “Don’t worry about it. I’m um… used to being the transitional girl.”
Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna...– Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
My roommate has attached a sticky note to the door of the washer and dryer claiming three of the seven weekdays to do her laundry. I wish I could grow the mouth to tell her my feet take up just as much space as her feet do although my steps are so much quieter. I have learned to avoid the aims of tossing flames and words stood up and spat in faces meaninglessly fought. They have never been worth...
Everyone says that I am too tense like shelters between trees leaning in the wind. I have been told to take up yoga way too many times. Each time I am told to take yoga I try to imagine my body shifting into those skinny shapes and I get nervous and my shoulders try to scratch my ears. I try to consciously relax. Drink tea. Sleep. It’s like telling yourself to breathe. Whenever you...
My Grandfather and God both dug themselves into the ground where I could not touch them or have them lead me around the fields and into the house. How can I remember the space when I cannot remember the features that filled it? A plaid shirt is hung over a blue easy chair and an empty coffee mug forms a ring on the end table. Why hasn’t there been an Amber alert for them?
On the computer screen in a quiet classroom the vacation weather bliss appears in pixel glory. * Nostalgia is the longing to go back to where you can never touch * Drinking beer on an umbrella-shaded beach because spring break meant everything * At the front of the room the professor strokes her own arms trying to feel oblivion * I stare at the blank page of invisible...
Let me tumble into the ground turning into the soil you ate on your birthday. Pinch a teaspoon of sand and bake it into a cake. I lost a button in the dirt and she told me that I should stop looking for it. It never grew into a tree. I could never eat the button fruit. I could never describe how its dirt stained branches felt like underneath my tongue.
Twist your wish
Mark this rock in a sharpie “we weren’t here, anyways” and pretend like you had never traveled back into the photo album past. I once hid in a graveyard and drank a bottle of rum. We played hopscotch on the stones and celebrated the fact that we were still breathing. Once twice and again you repeated your wishes, not breathing, to something that wasn’t...
Thoughts During Dead Week While Writing a...
Writing an essay about semiotics. I am not sure if it makes any sense. Semiotics kind of doesn’t make any sense. Le garcon texted me last night saying he was so sorry that he couldn’t hang out. It was kind of adorable because he kept on apologizing. I told him that he didn’t need to. I am eating German toffee for breakfast. It is making me feel unfulfilled. I don’t...
I tried to fold you into psychedelic origami but the lights were turned off and I could not find your face to press your lips into a Dali print melting on the floor of my crumb-filled carpet. I wanted to see you move how my hands told you. If you were to grab me you would slowly move your fingers around my shoulders and press your head to my neck so you could hear my breathing ...
Stat of the Day: 53.6% of Young Graduates Don't... →
An Awkward Conversation
“So um… are you… you know… clean and stuff?” I closed my eyes. It was a conversation that needed to happen, but a conversation I did not want to have. “Yes. I am clean.” I hated that word, ‘clean’. Whenever it was said I curled up a little bit in disgust. The word sounded so gross. “Have you been tested recently?” I...
Getting the book "He's Just Not That into You"
“You need to read this.” She told me. I was lying on her bedroom floor while Sex in the City played. I told her that I didn’t watch that show and didn’t know what was going on. She kept on stopping it so I could comment on the clothes. I had to continue to lie to her and mirror the opinions she wanted to hear. “What is it?” I asked her, flipping on my back so...
“You can’t un-see it” I told her. “What do you mean?” “It’s been revealed to you, you are never going to see through the same lens of naivety again.” “How can you stop seeing it?” “It’s the truth. You can’t just stop seeing it. It’s everywhere, but now is the first time you’ve noticed it. Feel it....
Sitting in the Grass
I wanted her to calm down. Her mouth was running a thousand words per minute, unable to grab the words with her teeth, she continued to repeat herself over and over. “It’s not the same.” I thought. We no longer shared the same narrative. We were continuing to try to recreate the past, but we could never move in that direction. I led her to a patch of grass so we could watch...