May 2012
Rules of life
don’t let emotion run your life
never get too attached
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The Happiness of Being 21
when people don’t respond to my text messages in a timely manner i feel less loved.
i realize how selfish i am for feeling like this.
the more i like a person, the more willing i am to forgive them for their shitty personal tastes.
when i complain i feel like a terrible person, but i think if i don’t complain things won’t be done correctly.
i wish i could become a better...
April 2012
Fact:
I will never be as talented as I want to be.
“So I’m not really looking for a relationship or anything. I hope that you’re okay with that. I mean, I’m leaving soon and so are you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m um… used to being the transitional girl.”
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“Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna...”
– Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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Fraction
My roommate has attached a sticky note to the door of the washer and dryer claiming three of the seven weekdays to do her laundry.
I wish I could grow the mouth to tell her my feet take up just as much space as her feet do although my steps are so much quieter.
I have learned to avoid the aims of tossing flames and words stood up and spat in faces meaninglessly fought. They have never been worth...
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Just Relax
Everyone says that I am too tense like shelters between trees leaning in the wind.
I have been told to take up yoga way too many times.
Each time I am told to take yoga I try to imagine my body shifting into those skinny shapes and I get nervous and my shoulders try to scratch my ears.
I try to consciously relax.
Drink tea.
Sleep.
It’s like telling yourself to breathe.
Whenever you...
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Coffee Mug
My Grandfather and God
both dug themselves into
the ground where I could
not touch them or
have them lead me around
the fields and into the house.
How can I remember the space
when I cannot remember the
features that filled it?
A plaid shirt is
hung over a blue
easy chair
and an empty coffee mug
forms a ring on the
end table.
Why hasn’t there been
an Amber alert for them?
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Classroom Lectures
On the computer screen in
a quiet classroom
the vacation weather
bliss appears
in pixel glory.
*
Nostalgia
is the longing
to go back
to where you can never
touch
*
Drinking beer on an umbrella-shaded
beach because
spring break meant everything
*
At the front of the room
the professor
strokes her own arms
trying to feel oblivion
*
I stare at the blank
page of invisible...
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Soil
Let me tumble into the ground
turning into the soil
you ate on your
birthday.
Pinch a teaspoon of sand
and bake it into a cake.
I lost a button
in the dirt
and she told me
that I should stop looking for it.
It never grew into a tree.
I could never eat the button fruit.
I could never describe
how its dirt stained
branches felt like
underneath my tongue.
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Twist your wish
Mark this rock
in a sharpie
“we weren’t here, anyways”
and pretend like
you had never traveled back
into the photo album past.
I once hid in a graveyard
and drank a bottle of rum.
We played hopscotch on the stones
and celebrated the fact
that we were still breathing.
Once twice and again
you repeated your wishes,
not breathing,
to something that wasn’t...
Thoughts During Dead Week While Writing a...
Writing an essay about semiotics.
I am not sure if it makes any sense.
Semiotics kind of doesn’t make any sense.
Le garcon texted me last night saying he was so sorry that he couldn’t hang out.
It was kind of adorable because he kept on apologizing.
I told him that he didn’t need to.
I am eating German toffee for breakfast.
It is making me feel unfulfilled.
I don’t...
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Psychedelic Origami
I tried to fold you into
psychedelic origami but the
lights were turned off and
I could not find your face
to press your lips into
a Dali print
melting on the floor
of my crumb-filled carpet.
I wanted to see you
move
how my hands told you.
If you were to grab me
you would slowly move
your fingers
around my shoulders
and press your head to my neck
so you could hear
my breathing
...
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Stat of the Day: 53.6% of Young Graduates Don't... →
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An Awkward Conversation
“So um… are you… you know… clean and stuff?”
I closed my eyes. It was a conversation that needed to happen, but a conversation I did not want to have.
“Yes. I am clean.”
I hated that word, ‘clean’. Whenever it was said I curled up a little bit in disgust. The word sounded so gross.
“Have you been tested recently?”
I...
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Getting the book "He's Just Not That into You"
“You need to read this.” She told me.
I was lying on her bedroom floor while Sex in the City played. I told her that I didn’t watch that show and didn’t know what was going on. She kept on stopping it so I could comment on the clothes. I had to continue to lie to her and mirror the opinions she wanted to hear.
“What is it?” I asked her, flipping on my back so...
“You can’t un-see it” I told her.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s been revealed to you, you are never going to see through the same lens of naivety again.”
“How can you stop seeing it?”
“It’s the truth. You can’t just stop seeing it. It’s everywhere, but now is the first time you’ve noticed it. Feel it....
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Sitting in the Grass
I wanted her to calm down.
Her mouth was running a thousand words per minute, unable to grab the words with her teeth, she continued to repeat herself over and over.
“It’s not the same.” I thought.
We no longer shared the same narrative.
We were continuing to try to recreate the past, but we could never move in that direction.
I led her to a patch of grass so we could watch...
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